You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You left your phone here
Wait...
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