Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
