Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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