your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
