WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
