No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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