i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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