i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
