Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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