That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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