I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
