dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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