Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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