im six kinds of drunk right now
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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