that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
