Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
