I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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