Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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