he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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