I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
