After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
