Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
