Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
