No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
