omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
