You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
nutella sex= disaster
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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