I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
