You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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