I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
