i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
