You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
