We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
