i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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