I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
