he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
