Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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