I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
