I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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