he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
