We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
