Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
