I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
