this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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