I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
