I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
