I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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