I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
