so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
