My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
