That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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