Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
